ProjectXY

I have become obsessed with labour and everything around it. It’s driving me mad! All those insomnia hours during the night and every time I stop for a bit (or even if I’m walking to the shops) my mind wonders off to everything that can happen.

When will the contractions begin? will I have the show? will Russ be here or 400 miles away at work? who can I call?  will I need a c-section? will I need an epidural? when will the waters break? will my family be here? how long will it take? will she be ok? will I be ok? how will it be when I bring it home? what do I still need to prepare? I can’t stop it!!! And I am tired of it! I try to think of something else but my mind always ends up going back to the same thoughts. It’s like my brain can’t work on nothing else but pregnancy, labour and babies! It’s not that I’m desperate for her to be born – I am enjoying these last weeks – it’s not having a clue what will happen and what to do. It doesn’t matter how much you read, you never know until you get there and I have no idea what my reaction will be.

One of the things I’m stressing about is that we are expecting a job down in Exeter and Russ will have to be away for a few weeks. We don’t know when it will happen but it can happen at any time, and so can the birth. So I will be home alone for all that time and I may go into labour alone as well. And my main concern is that Russ won’t get here on time…

Being bored doesn’t help as well but then again I don’t feel like doing anything… We don’t see or talk to may people as all the work we have now is done from home. I need to go out and have some fun. But it’s difficult considering that I can’t stand or walk for long and there is not much to do with this weather.

I have no signs that it will be soon so I keep checking my bump to see if there are any differences. She has engaged but it looked like she has come back up for a while which was a huge disappointment. So I’ve decided to do the countdown differently and count it down to the last day before I need to get induced. Just so I don’t get disappointed as most first babies are born late. So I’m almost 6 weeks away. Anything before that is a bonus.

In the mean time (whenever I’m not thinking about labour) I’m enjoying the last few weeks where I can have her all to myself. The kicks, the movements, trying to guess which part of her body is sticking out and seeing my bump taking the oddest shapes After she is born I’ll have to share her with a lot of people

Today I had an appointment for my first ante-natal class. I was really looking forward to it.

Just got a phone call cancelling it because apparently the road by the health centre is too treacherous! Treacherous?? I live just around the corner and the snow on the roads has actually been melting!!!

And they don’t even know when they will do it! Are they expecting for me to have the baby and then have the ante-natal class?

Not happy!!!!

Today I had an appointment at the Derby hospital. It didn’t start well as we were stuck in traffic and got there late. I just hope that Tubbs doesn’t decide to be born during rush hour. It won’t be fun being stuck in a car in pain for ages!

We had to wait quite a bit to be seen but finally the nurse called my name. She told me there would be 2 doctors present, a consultant and a trainee. The trainee welcomed me as usual and said what we were going to be doing (the usual measuring, blood pressure check, etc). Then the consultant asked me: ‘ you are a student aren’t you?’ I said ‘yes, a PhD student’. He looked impressed and saluted me (for some reason) and asked ‘PhD? Very good, what on?’ I answered the usual ‘Planetary science, meteorites, comets and that space related stuff’. And then it all went funny. The consultant asked me to explain the phases of the Moon and complained that he could not understand a Moon crescent. Oh dear, the Moon phases are a bit difficult to explain especially in a few minutes and without the aid of some images so after much insistence I gave up on explaining and he gave up on understanding. We finally got to the appointment per se and all was well. As soon as I sat back  down he comes back with the questions! ‘Is the UK very involved in the space program?’ I said yes and that quite a few instruments were designed and went on space missions blah, blah. By then they were both quite excited and asking questions. ‘I saw a scientist on TV talking about it from the Open University, what was his name? He had a beard’ I said that it was probably CP and that I worked on his department so I knew him a bit. ‘That was it! CP!’ they said excitedly, ‘You know him?? Oh he seems to be a bit eccentric! Is he?’ And as I was saying that he could sometimes be a character the nurse intervened and actually said: ‘Come on lets get you out of here before they ask any more questions!’

I’d never seen doctors this keen to keep me in instead of wanting to get rid of me asap! I just had to laugh. They looked like two excited children That made my day!

I had to book another appointment for four weeks from now in case I am overdue and I also booked a tour of the hospital so I can actually see what facilities they have. That will be on Sunday.

On an unrelated note, most people know of the saga to find cot sheets. We went to Dunelm after the appointment and they had nothing but fitted cot sheets! Loads of them! Sigh…

At 35 weeks a few things have changed on this path to parenthood.

First I got rid of the cold which makes my life a lot easier.

My bump is dropping by the day and I can feel the baby a lot lower than before. It is bigger though and getting out of bed and moving became quite amusing at times.

I’ve been getting a shooting pain in my bladder which the midwife said is the baby trying to engage. I’ve been having painful spasms on my back and my hips feel like they are going to dislocate at any moment. One false move and the pain strikes me like a lightning. It got to the point that I actually start laughing at the sorry image of me. These symptoms (although painful) don’t bother me nearly as much as the past month (see previous moaning posts). I don’t know if it’s because they are easier to deal with or because I see them as my body doing the final preparations for labour.

It feels like we are getting there. We don’t have to wait for ages anymore and soon enough we will have our baby in our arms. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think ‘blimey, it is really going to happen!’

It’s a bit of a scary thought. We still have no idea what to do or how we will be as parents but we are thinking that so many people have done it, we can do it too.

I’m trying not to think about labour as it scares me a bit, I’m just focusing on getting through it as quickly as possible and on the fabulous result. My ante-natal classes start next week. I hope they don’t show videos of labours though. The effect of women screaming the times I’ve been to the hospital was enough, if I see the whole thing I might change my mind and not want to do it anymore . Not that I have a choice.

So now that the time is coming I don’t feel impatient anymore. I’m just trying to enjoy these last few weeks as much as possible before our lives change completely, and I’m enjoying the time getting everything ready for the new arrival.

Oh and btw, when we started telling people about the pregnancy we were amazed on how so many people we know became pregnant at around the same time. So far two babies are born already

Congratulations to S. and C. on the arrival of baby J. and S. and M. on baby M. (you know who you are)