Pain was becoming really unbearable, and after a while they finally found me a room.  It looked like (for a change) they were under staffed so the midwife couldn’t be with me the whole time. She strapped the baby heart monitor and the contractions monitor on me, gave me the gas and air, made sure I didn’t feel the need to push and off she went. She told me to press the button if we needed anything or if I wanted to push.

The contractions were getting stronger and stronger and the gas and air doesn’t exactly take the pain away. I’d never been in labour before, Russ and Maria had never seen one, so we were clueless on what to do. The useless ante-natal class didn’t include exactly what happens during labour and how to breathe and what to expect. I wasn’t breathing the gas and air properly and the pain became so strong I lost control. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life! It got to a point where I couldn’t breathe anymore, threw the gas and air away and screamed like hell! More like grunting really.

I have a faint recollection that Russ and Maria were talking to me but I couldn’t hear them anymore. I didn’t listen to them, and even if I could hear them, what do they know? I assume they were telling me to breathe deeply but I couldn’t do it. It didn’t take long until I started feeling the need to push. I told them (shouted): ‘press the button I want to push’ Russ didn’t believe me and kept telling me to calm down. At the third ‘press the damn button I want to push’  I took it and pressed it myself. The midwife came immediately, examined me and said: ‘it looks like this baby is about to be born’. She put on a serious face, told me off for wasting my much needed energy on the screaming, and started getting ready. Somehow, now that I had someone who knew what they were doing there, I started to calm down under her instructions. It took a bit but soon I was breathing properly and the pain was not as bad (although still the worst I’ve ever felt). For some reason I didn’t believe the baby was coming anytime soon. It was like I never thought I would get rid of that excruciating pain.

A few minutes later she was telling me to hold my legs and start pushing. Pushing??? I couldn’t push! I was too tired and the pain was too much! I didn’t even knew what kind of pushing she was talking about! A few more instructions later and I did start to push. The problem is that you can only push while you’re having a contraction and mine were too short. I could only manage one bit push and the second one was interrupted.

She said she could see the head :O And again I didn’t believe her. Russ saw it too and I still didn’t believe it! I thought they were lying. Why on Earth would they lie I have no idea. But I thought that it was to soon and I would be in pain for a lot longer and they were just trying to trick me into keep going. You completely lose your sanity… The thing is I could only feel the contractions. I could not feel her head coming. So all I had was their word because for me the baby was still way inside.The midwife even asked if I wanted to touch the head. I “said” Noooo! I just wanted it to end! A few pushes later and I did feel her head! Because of the short contractions one of the pushes stopped half way through and her head got stuck. The midwife said that it was a very uncomfortable position for both me and the baby and That I need to push harder. I heard her say push harder, push slowly, all kinds of things but it was all like in a dream. I don’t know if it was the gas and air or the pain but it all felt very surreal.

A couple of pushes later and the head got out. I did feel that. It stung like hell. And the next push the body was out in a gush and I felt the biggest relief in my life. My bump dropped, all the pain and all the tension stopped immediately  I sat up to see my lovely daughter born. She was a bit blue but she started crying immediately and seconds later she was in my arms . And she stopped crying! And I started! She was beautiful!!!

All in all it seems like it was a very quick labour. Especially for a first one.

More gruesome details on the next post

I have decided that I should write something about my experience with labour and maybe carry on with this blog writing about this wonderful world of parenthood. It will be good to come back in a few years time and read everything

As I have little time available to write and there is a lot to say I though I may as well do it in parts.

It all began on Sunday the 7th February. My dad and stepmum had arrived a few days earlier and we decided to go out for a meal with Russ’s parents and siblings to introduce Maria to them. Russ was also going to play the monthly football match with other members of his family so we decided to put it all together.

We went out for a meal on a pub and I began not feeling very well. I was tired and my stomach was uncomfortable. I thought it might have been a bug or something. Anyways we went to see the boys play football and I was feeling worse and worse. I told Russ that I really wasn’t feeling well. Someone said joking that if Russ scored a hat trick then she would be born that day. Russ did and asked me : ” So where is that baby?”

We came home and there were no signs of me getting better. I started to find it odd as when I have an upset stomach it usually doesn’t last as long.

I started watching a film with Maria. I will never forget – The Devil Wears Prada. I started to realise that the pain would come and go but it was quite irregular so made nothing of it. Went to bed and the pain continued. I couldn’t sleep and I could tell that it would come and go so I started wondering if they were contractions. At 1am I was sitting in the study browsing the web looking for what contractions are supposed to feel like. In the end I reached no conclusions. They could be contractions or not. I started timing them and they were very irregular, sometimes 10 min apart sometimes 5.

When back to bed, woke up Russ and told him to be prepared just in case. The pain started to become stronger and after an hour or so I gave up and asked Russ to take me to the hospital. We woke up my family and told them we would let them know what happened. Chances were that even if they were contractions I would be sent home for a bit longer.

When we got to the hospital they put me in the observation room strapped on to monitors to check the contractions and the baby’s heart beat. I had the confirmation. They were contractions (at that point I still didn’t want to keep my hopes up) and I was 1 cm dilated. They did send me home but I had to stay a bit longer because they wanted to monitor the baby properly and apparently she was in a deep sleep! Deep sleep??? There I was in pain and she was in deep sleep??? Some nerve The midwife told me that when it got to the point where I couldn’t smile between contractions it was time to go back to the hospital.

When I got hope my dad and Maria were getting ready to go out and meet us. We got home just in time to stop them. I tried to rest a bit more. But the contractions were getting really strong. I started to struggle with the pain. When it got to around 8am I couldn’t cope anymore and decided I needed pain killers. Paracetamol was not doing the trick.

We got in the car and this time Maria came with us. My dad stayed at home as we were waiting for a mattress delivery (good timing). There was a lot of traffic and it was hell. The pain was really strong and we were getting nowhere near the hospital I definitely could not smile any more and could not hide the pain I was feeling.

We finally got there and I was happy to find that I could have 2 birth partners so Maria could come in with us I went to the monitoring room again and was told I was 5 cm dilated already! She was on her way!

There is something I want to say before anything else. I am amazed with all the help and support I was given by the Derby hospital staff. It went way beyond my expectations and it made things a lot easier. Babies don’t come with instructions and there is a lot to learn. There was always someone available to help with everything and they were all wonderful, even though they were way under staffed.

Now the real fun begins

Lots of people said she would be early but I really don’t think it will happen. I am prepared to wait a couple more weeks even though the discomfort has taken a new level. I am also prepared for the possibility of  having to be induced just like what happened with me and Russ. But that is not what worries me.

What worries me is that we have now confirmation that Russ will be in Exeter for a week, possibly 2 (maybe including the weekend) after the 15th. She is due on the 9th. If she is even a week late, Russ will be 4 hours drive away. I will not be alone, as my dad and step mum arrive tonight, but I would still prefer to have Russ with me through the whole process and I am certainly not prepared for him to miss the birth. I know that it can take hours but it can also be quick and I’m also not happy of Russ to leave a very important client and drive 4 hours under stress and in a hurry. I need him safe and sound and with energy to help me.

The other thing is that my dad is staying for 3 weeks and we tried to arrange it so that he could see his first granddaughter before he leaves. That is the purpose of the visit. But if she is very late and the induction takes ages to work he might miss it.

For now all I can do is wait and see.

The weird thing is, she has gotten into a weird position, pushing with her bottom and feet against the front of the bump and she’s making it take a weird shape. It’s like a Ferengi’s head (for the Star Treck lovers). It’s kind of a weird square shape with big bumps on the edges.

She has been a bit quieter but when she moves she tends to push against the front and it feels like it’s going to tear the muscle  It doesn’t hurt, it just feels really tight.

Still I am enjoying these times. I think we are bonding even more and I can’t wait to meet her, but I love every minute I feel her move

This is my bump at almost 38 weeks. I’m surprised I don’t fall forwards or how it hasn’t burst yet! The only people I’ve seen so far with bumps as big as me are having twins!

And the thing is, if she decides to be born 2 weeks late, I still have a whole month of growth ahead of me!

On another note, pregnesia (or baby brain or whatever people call it) has been affecting me dearly lately. I forget what I am doing often, do things I really didn’t want to do, forget what I was talking about, but worst, I’m losing the ability to speak English. I find myself talking to people and not being able to find the words or saying something completely wrong or with an appalling grammar! If this goes on I might need a translator at the hospital!

The funny side is that Russ, although in a much smaller scale, has been slightly off as well. I wonder if he will feel sympathy pains when I’m in labour?

Cat rightly pointed out that I am currently a picture of calm at the moment. Maybe I have too much work on the business to think about, maybe it’s because I’m not going to be the one going through labour, or maybe I am just totally ignorant of the storm about to hit me, but I am not too concerned with what is to come.

Sure I guess I am a bit nervous because I’ve never done it before, but I’m sure we will both manage fine. We have some nice people helping us, and most of the things we needed to buy have been bought. All we lack is a baby, so when she turns up, everything will fall into place.

I should make a note of this post and revisit it in a few months to see if I still agree with that!!

Anyway we were quite impressed. It all looks brand new – the hospital has been through major works – and it all looks spacious and clean.

There are 18 rooms midwife and consultant led. They all have en-suite and the midwife led ones also have CD player, oil burning facilities for aromatherapy, odd shaped sofa and a bed and loads of stuff to help during labour. One of them has a birth pool There are other rooms like an induction room with 4 beds in them and not a lot of space – especially not for dads to stay there during the process – so I hope I don’t need to use one of them, theatres where the C-sections are done, rooms for rest and reflection, etc.

We also got a chance to see the midwives in action with an emergency. One of the pregnant women in my group lost consciousness. It was very hot and she kept her coat on so maybe that was the cause. The midwife that was doing the tour rang the alarm (available in every room) and about 10 of them came running to help! Very efficient!

We then went upstairs to see the post-natal ward and again it was impressive. Hot drinks available in the corridors, rooms with only 4 beds each, each bed has it’s own tv/telephone/internet connection… All very good.

The best bit was when we managed to see a midwife teaching the new parents to bathe the new born. He/she was put in a see through bucket so that they (and us from the corridor) could see how it’s done. They look so small and helpless!

If everything goes well the discharge happens between 6 hours and 2 days. ou can’t leave until both the baby and the mother are checked by the doctors. You also get the chance, as it happened, to be shown how to bathe, change a nappy and breastfeed. They expect the dad’s to change the nappies while the mother is resting. I liked that

All in all I was really happy with what I saw and the people that work there seems really nice. Can’t wait

(and there were no women in labour at the time so no screams to freak me out )

When will the contractions begin? will I have the show? will Russ be here or 400 miles away at work? who can I call?  will I need a c-section? will I need an epidural? when will the waters break? will my family be here? how long will it take? will she be ok? will I be ok? how will it be when I bring it home? what do I still need to prepare? I can’t stop it!!! And I am tired of it! I try to think of something else but my mind always ends up going back to the same thoughts. It’s like my brain can’t work on nothing else but pregnancy, labour and babies! It’s not that I’m desperate for her to be born – I am enjoying these last weeks – it’s not having a clue what will happen and what to do. It doesn’t matter how much you read, you never know until you get there and I have no idea what my reaction will be.

One of the things I’m stressing about is that we are expecting a job down in Exeter and Russ will have to be away for a few weeks. We don’t know when it will happen but it can happen at any time, and so can the birth. So I will be home alone for all that time and I may go into labour alone as well. And my main concern is that Russ won’t get here on time…

Being bored doesn’t help as well but then again I don’t feel like doing anything… We don’t see or talk to may people as all the work we have now is done from home. I need to go out and have some fun. But it’s difficult considering that I can’t stand or walk for long and there is not much to do with this weather.

I have no signs that it will be soon so I keep checking my bump to see if there are any differences. She has engaged but it looked like she has come back up for a while which was a huge disappointment. So I’ve decided to do the countdown differently and count it down to the last day before I need to get induced. Just so I don’t get disappointed as most first babies are born late. So I’m almost 6 weeks away. Anything before that is a bonus.

In the mean time (whenever I’m not thinking about labour) I’m enjoying the last few weeks where I can have her all to myself. The kicks, the movements, trying to guess which part of her body is sticking out and seeing my bump taking the oddest shapes After she is born I’ll have to share her with a lot of people